Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 3}

People-Pleasing, Perfectionism, Performancism, and Procrastination.

The journey of confronting my p-bullies continues today as I consider performancism (because of course, we have to save procrastination for last).

Wait. What in the world is performancism? Surely, this can’t even be a real word. It has that squiggly red line underneath it and everything. Performancism? Really.

Performancism is not the same thing as strong work ethic. Nor is it practicing a skill to master. Just as workaholism is not merely working hard but an actual addiction to work, Performancism is a compulsive, insatiable craving for achievement.

Well…I guess when you put it that way.

That’s me.

Perhaps more than the people-pleasing and perfectionism, I am a performer–a creator, an accomplisher, a do-er of tasks and to do lists, a dreamer, an actualizer. I perform, and I perform well.

And when I can’t perform… I’m a complete and total mess.

I’ve often been told that I need to take a break, take a vacation, relax, and do nothing. But my mind quickly responds, “Do Nothing? How can I just do nothing?”

My husband and children plead with me, “Sit down. Just be with us.” And my mind quickly responds, “How can I just be? Being is a waste of time. There is so much to do. Let’s do something as a family and stop sitting around doing nothing.”

I must do. This is what defines me. This is who I am.

In his book, Me, Myself, and Bob, Phil Vischer of VeggieTales said it best:

I had grown up drinking a dangerous cocktail–a mix of the gospel, the Protestant work ethic, and the American dream. My eternal value was rooted in what I could accomplish. My role here on earth was to dream up amazing things to do for God.

I knew I liked VeggieTales.

But to the doing and accomplishing.

It began in my teenage years. Involved in every activity. Finding fulfillment and contentment in the accomplishments, the ability to manage it all, and to still be successful. Cheerleader. Football Player. Lead dancer or actress in a theater production. Captain of the Basketball team. And the awful list continues.

Then into College–working multiple jobs, choreographing for the theater department, volunteering for ministries, and still having time to pursue excellence in my studies.

Excellence. That was the root of it. I wanted to be excellent.

That’s what God had called me to be right? To be excellent in all that I did, doing it all for the glory of God.

Yes. I would be excellent in all things, and I would do great and amazing things for God. I would finish my degree, travel the world sharing the gospel, start a non-profit organization saving the lives of orphans and leading them to Christ, all while publishing great books, practicing law, learning new languages (so I could translate the Bible of course), meeting the amazing and perfect man of my dreams, and mothering  the most beautiful and Christ-like children, whom I would then homeschool from our hut in a Zimbabwe village, where we were planting a church and eradicating HIV/AIDS.

I would do great things for God.

Great things FOR God? When did my life become about doing great things for God, as if he needed me at all? Why do we think that we must do?

Please hear me. I am in no way rejecting God’s desire for us to love, serve, and obey him. But our lives are not defined by our great accomplishments for his kingdom. Rather, we are defined in His eyes, by the grace that cleanses us white as snow, and by our obedience as we take up our cross daily and follow him. This is true excellence.

So, daily I am challenged. Challenged to take a deep breath, reflect on the present, and just be.

Be still. Be still and know that he is God. Be still and let go of the future. Be still and trust. Be.

The spiritual discipline of being.

No more accomplishments. No more performancism. Just being.

Ditch your “human doing” status, and reclaim your “human being” birthright.


{Share Today} Please share in the comments today:

  • In what areas of your life are you striving for accomplishments?
  • How is performancism impacting your relationships?
  • Do your to-do lists, success stories, and accomplishments define you?
  • What brave step are you taking to confront this bully?

Cure-for-the-Perfect-Life-COVER-1000-x-1545-662x1024This series is derived from and inspired by The Cure for the Perfect Life by Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory.

{Read Chapter 1} You can get a taste of this fabulous book by downloading and reading chapter 1 Here.

{Buy the Book} Get your own copy of this amazing book, Here.

Remember, check back next Monday for “Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 4},” as we continue this #braverliving rebellion.

For those of you who missed it, here is {Part 1} of this series.

Mary 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 3}

  1. Pingback: Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 4} | Super Woman Syndrome

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