Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 1} and My “Perfect” Blog {Winner}

I decided to be ambitious.

Instead of picking delicately at this calling to write more, I would bite off a whole slice of commitment and dive right in.

So… today begins Part 1 of a five-part series, “Confronting my P-Bullies.”

People-Pleasing, Perfectionism, Performancism, and Procrastination.

Yes. FIVE-part series. No, I don’t struggle with performancism in the least bit. But that is a conversation for week three of this FIVE-part series. Did I mention there are FIVE parts!?! What was I thinking?

Oh…that’s right.

People-pleasing.

An invitation was given for individuals within the #braverliving rebellion community to blog, share, and reflect on The Cure for the Perfect Life by Kathi Lipp & Cheri Gregory. Not wanting to disappoint and wanting to communicate my absolute support for this amazing book and project, I committed to a series.

Why couldn’t I just write one simple blog?

Because, when we are focused on bringing happiness to others, to pleasing THEM instead of doing what is right and good…nothing is ever simple.

“People-pleasing is not the same thing as love; in fact, in many cases it is a major cause of the erosion of love.”

This past week, as I prepared to write, I went to grab my copy of the book in all of it’s pink-highlighted glory. I soon discovered my one-year-old daughter, Kaycee, had developed a knack for thievery and concealment. Yes, my book was completely gone. Totally gone.

I began to panic and proceeded to throw our home into utter-chaos and disarray, forcing every member of our household to search for this book. Mommy was not going to be happy until this book was found.

I quickly became convinced that Kaycee had put the book in the garbage, and wouldn’t you know that my diligent husband had emptied all the garbages just the night before, and the faithful garbage man picked up everything the very next day. Seriously?! What is it with people doing their jobs!?

So… with a writing deadline of Monday for a new blog series revolving around THIS BOOK, I was faced with a difficult decision. Keep looking and crying and looking and crying…or, buy ANOTHER copy of the book and read it ALL by Monday AND write the blog series.

My husband kept encouraging me, “It’s no big deal. We can get you another copy of the book.”

No big deal? Did he know me at all? All that pink-highlighter, personal notes, underlines, and writing ideas. No big deal?

I started to cry. I started to panic.

Why?

Because in the back of my mind my People-Pleasing Bully was convincing me that I would be a horrible disappointment to Kathi and Cheri and the ENTIRE #braverliving rebellion community by not writing.

  • “How will they ever know you really care about this project unless you write a perfect blog?”
  • “You will be such a let down to this community and your readers.”
  • “You will never be asked to write again.”
  • “You will need to beg for forgiveness and write even more to make up for this.”

… and the bully continued.

“People-pleasing is a rip current. When we ignore the warning signs and dive in, we will be overwhelmed by overcommitment.”

Here I was, caught in the deadly rip current, powerless to say no, and now being swept out to sea by this people-pleasing bully. Not only was I drowning in tears of disappointment, but I was overwhelmed by the consequences of my overcommitment.

Breath. Deep breath, Mary.

It was time to let go. To give up. Forget about the book. Get some sleep. And start a new day tomorrow.

As I put the dirty clothes from the day in the hamper…there staring up at me… a perfect pink cupcake!

I found my book.

My heart leapt with joy!

“Praise the Lord. Now, I won’t be a disappointment to everyone!”

Wait. What?! Really!? All of that emotional turmoil and I was STILL focused on everyone else?!

Then…there it was…page 236…like a spiritual-smack-on-the-back-of-the-head…

“We are not designed to please people. We are designed to please God.”

How many times have I said yes when I need to say no, only to please others?

How many times have I been more concerned with making others happy instead of praising, honoring, and delighting in the Lord?

How many times have I said yes in disobedience to God?

How many times have I been more scared of what people think, instead of living in righteous fear of the LORD?

… A few days have passed since I found my book, but in all authenticity, I found much more than my book on that day. I found some answers. Difficult answers, but answers nonetheless. Answers for me to confront this people-pleasing bully, and to seek ways in which I can please the Lord instead.


Cure-for-the-Perfect-Life-COVER-1000-x-1545-662x1024

{Winner} On July 28th, we began the giveaway for a free copy of The Cure for the “Perfect” Life: 12 Ways to Stop Tryin Harder and Start Living Braver by Kathi Lipp and Cheri Gregory.

And the winner is…

Rebekah (email: rfuller31514@gmail.com)

Congratulations! You will receive an email about how to get your FREE copy!

For others, you do NOT want to miss out on this amazing book.

{Read Chapter 1} You can get a taste of this fabulous book by downloading and reading chapter 1 Here.

{Buy the Book} Get your own copy of this amazing book, Here.

Remember, check back next Monday for “Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 2},” as we continue this #braverliving rebellion.

Mary 🙂

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5 thoughts on “Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 1} and My “Perfect” Blog {Winner}

  1. Pingback: Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 2} | Super Woman Syndrome

  2. Pingback: Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 3} | Super Woman Syndrome

  3. Pingback: Confronting my P-Bullies {Part 4} | Super Woman Syndrome

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