Christian Holocaust, Mark Driscoll, and Robin Williams

These are the headlines. The news that fills our twitter feeds and Facebook walls.

My mind spins and my heart breaks.

Questions. Confusions. Tears.

But what do all of these headlines have in common?

How can my mind and heart equate the suicide of a loved movie star to the vicious slaughter of thousands of brothers and sisters in Christ?

And what does one pastor’s “fall from grace” mean in the midst of it all?

What is the single thread?


This is the fallen world. And while each news article, posted video, and image released brings waves of sadness in various degrees, it does not bring shock.

I am not surprised.

Not in a sense of of miss-know-it-all-cocky-self-righteous-confidence. But rather in honest reflection and meditation upon the Word of God and the world in which we live.

God said it. And it is so.

The heart is deceitful and desperately sick. Jeremiah 17:9

No one does good. Romans 3:12

Nothing good dwells in the flesh. Romans 7:18

Darkened and alienated from God. Ephesians 4:18

Treacherous, reckless, lovers of pleasure. 2 Timothy 3:4

They WILL persecute you. John 15:20

God said it. And it is so.

Wise counsel (a.k.a., my dear husband) has continued to remind me, “It should not surprise us when the world acts like the world.” I never want him to be right. But as the news continues, there lies the proof of the heartbreaking state of the fallen world.

In this fallen world, the weakened mind will give way to the evil darkness and depression that knocks, silencing that still small voice of hope and abandoning man with nothing but the choice to end it all. Depravity.

In this fallen world, a pastor will fail to fully comprehend the weight of his position and succumb to the emotional and spiritual burnout that so many endure, leaving a wake of divisive and destructive words behind him. Depravity.

In this fallen world, the enemy will attack from within the church, causing division and the absence of forgiveness and grace. Depravity.

In this fallen world, innocent eyes stare down the barrel of a gun, the blade of a knife, and watch in horror as their loved ones cry out, “Abba Father,” only seconds before they meet their maker. Depravity.

In this fallen world.

Anger. Hatred. Betrayal. Manipulation. Abuse. Addiction. Rape.



In this fallen world.

And me… what exactly am I supposed to do? A mother, trying desperately to raise three-little girls? Three little girls that I pray will someday be bold and courageous women of God? How? How exactly am I supposed to do that when their world is filled with so much darkness?

“No parent can child-proof the world.
A parent’s job is to world-proof the child.”
– Doug Flanders, MD

A few years ago I was approached by a local grass-roots political movement to help review the California state laws regarding education and help petition the local government to bring institution-led prayer back into the public school system. Although I believe in prayer, I had to decline this invitation. In a just brief moment, I came to realize a valuable lesson: I could either spend all my time trying to change a fallen world so that my children would be safe, or I could trust the Word of God which says the world WILL get worse, and instead spend all my time trying to prepare my children to live in that worsening world. I chose my children.

This was a good decision. The right decision. But now, now I must make this decision again and again each and every day.

In just a minuscule moment in history, I am tasked with the incredible privilege to pour my life and soul into the hearts of three precious little girls, and prepare them for the world around them.

But I am not alone. And they do not belong to me.

My children belong to God… HE is writing their story and I am merely putting luggage in their trunk for the journey.

So, I continue to pack bags filled with tools, resources, lessons, and love. Unconditional love. And someday, I will talk with each of them about the pain, heartache, anger, and hatred.

I will tell them about hurtful words.

I will tell them how to be careful with social media.

I will tell them about the atrocity of suicide.

I will tell them that persecution is real.

But more than anything I will tell them that I love them and JESUS loves them too!

And when that day comes…heaven forbid and tears well in my eyes as I write… when that day comes and they too are faced with a barrel or blade, they will courageously proclaim, “I CHOOSE JESUS.”

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

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