Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:8
Sometimes I think that I’m the only one out there. The only full time wife, full time mother, full time employee, full time student, and part time…well, part time everything else. I convince myself that no one else can understand what its like; no one else can understand all the stress and the pressure. Some call me Super Woman as though a compliment, yet I feel even more and more trapped by this label. And in the midst of it all I’m coming unglued at the seams.
Ah yes, unglued. This is exactly where I am. And exactly what I am reading for that matter. I am continuing on my journey through Lysa TerKeurst’s Unglued and joining thousands of women around the world through Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Study. Well, at least attempting to join. In the midst of full time living I find myself trying to play catch up with the reading, blogs, comments, conference calls, and more. In the midst of this semester, actually, I find myself playing catch up in a lot of areas, and not just academically or with this book. I’m also having to play catch up with relationships–my husband, my children, my mother, my friends. For when conversations or circumstances are not perfect, and my raw emotions and stress get the best of me, I explode.
So, before continuing on, here goes…
Hello, my name is Mary, and I am an Exploder. (Did you all just reply, “Hello Mary”?…Just curious).
I am an exploder who shames myself AND an exploder who blames others. In the midst of all the stress in life, I struggle to bring balance to my heart and soul. And as Lysa states, “All I want to do is throw my purse over my head and scream. Scream! Scream!”
Our verse for this week, however, has triggered within my heart a reminder that hiding my screaming head in my purse will continue to be detrimental to my relationships and to the full time life that God has called me to live. Rather, Peter teaches me to be sober-minded and watchful, for the devil is prowling and seeking to devour. Yes, to devour me. And as I give in to the raw emotions and allow the stresses of life to lead me to explosions, the devil has found his prey.
Lord, I pray that as I continue through this time of growth in Unglued you speak through your Word and remind me to seek the life that is of you–one that is sober-minded and peaceful, always seeking your wisdom, understanding, and grace. Lord, continue to help me repair my relationships that I have damaged in the midst of explosions. And reveal to me that I am not alone–for you never leave me, and I am also joined in this journey with thousands of other women seeking to stop screaming, to repair relationships, to survive full time living, and to know YOU more! And for that I am grateful. Amen.